Family time can be lovely. But, living so far away from our families, we often feel that we need to cram 6 months or a year’s worth of ‘good times’ into every visit. This means that expectations are at an all time high. So, a disastrous dinner or dull afternoon’s activities fuelled by the previous night’s sleep deprivation can take an emotional toll. Too often, the ‘pressure is on’…
Despite years of practice on this front, we still don’t have the recipe down. But we learn with every visit…and having W in tow now, it’s all become a bit easier. W provides the entertainment…no pressure on us, then. 🙂
So far, here are a few things we’ve learned:
-No gifts. We haven’t a clue of what to buy people because we’re so seldom in town. Whatever we buy is a waste…
-No TV. We don’t have a TV in the UK and have grown to appreciate the conversation and interactions that not having one facilitates. There’s nothing worse than flying thousands of miles to simply watch a screen in the presence of others.
-No set schedule, limited to do list. We used have lots of things we wanted to shop for and do while we were in town visiting family. Now, to limit time lost traveling to and fro, we’re very selective. Our list most often includes activities like ‘go for ice cream’, feed the donkeys, go for a hike on the farm, or visit the lake beach 10 minutes away rather than travel to the store or petting zoo 30 miles away.
-Let company come to us. It all seems very selfish…and truth be told, it is. But, since we’re making the longest bit of the journey, our friends and family most often travel the shorter leg–coming to us at our parents’ houses rather than us splitting our time across multiple bits of the states.
-Limit driving. W hates the car–and so do we. So, whenever possible we opt for ‘play in the backyard’ over commuting to some place slightly better further afield–w’s more at ease without so much commuting about and we’re able to have more quality time.
So, we’re not perfect. And these are our until now, unspoken rules. So, given the pressure of limited time, drama has been known to erupt from time to time. So, we were elated during our visit in late June/July when everything ran smoothly. There was no stress. No drama. We all had a lovely time. And w got to know his family so much better.
So…what did we get up to?
While visiting K’s family, W spent days riding about my family’s house and garden in a little red car and wagon being pushed and entertained by Aunts, Uncles, Parents and Grandparents. He could be found swinging in the trees for a couple hours per day, playing in the sandbox on the covered porch, eating ice lollies and devouring just about everything in sight. His days would start at 5 and 6am with a few hours on the farm with grandparents (so g and I could sleep in and catch up on our jobs in London). They would feed the cows and donkeys, keep their eyes open for deer, turkeys and turtles. And W would gorge himself on fresh blackberries picked from the vine. Then, we’d sometimes venture out to the public beach on our local lake (Smith Mountain Lake)…W loved every minute of it and played for hours and hours every time. Other times, we’ve visit with K’s grandmother or other aunts, uncles and cousins which came to call. Then, at night and on the weekends, K’s siblings came to visit. It was one of our best visits of all time.
Going north to Annandale to spend time with G’s family, the daily routine was slightly different, but still very relaxed. W played with his cousin, Eric, who’s 5 months older than he. They became true playmates and passed the hours splashing in the bird bath, playing in a kiddie pool and generally tromping about the garden. A storm had passed through DC cancelling most of his grandparents’ plan for the time together, but perhaps this was a blessing in disguise as the boys had plenty of time of uninterrupted play–they truly enjoyed one another’s company by the end of the short visit. So much so that W gave Eric an unsolicited hug at the airport. This visit was exactly what family time should be. Low key. Quality. Uninterrupted. Low stress. Close to home.
We all had a wonderful time. And given this experience, we’ve arrived at the list of things which helped us to achieve a great visit, included at the start of the post. With this list in our minds, may every visit be such a success.